The Revenge of the networks: Sock Puppet has the final word

pets-sock-puppet.jpgHUMOR: Now that everyone has had their say on the YouTube killer being crafted together by News Corp and NBC, we decided to check in with the sock puppet and ask what it thought about today’s blog-shaking developments. Here are excerpts from an interview with the ghost of the dot-com past:

Mr. Sock Puppet, nice to meet you. Long time observer if not a believer in what you represent.

You are just a pessimistic twit so can’t say it is a pleasure talking to you. But I will take any attention I can get. Not that I have any budget for a Super Bowl ad.

So Mr. Puppet, why do you think they launched this joint project/venture/company?

As my friend Triumph, the insult comic dog, says, to poop on Google/YouTube.

What do you make of this news announcement?

These kind of grand alliances haven’t worked in the past. Too many big egos, too many chefs and not enough eggs to make the soufflé.

Does anyone remember the grand phone company alliance – Concert, or Rupert Murdoch’s ISP alliance with MCI? For some of your younger readers, the grand alliance between record companies to compete with Napster. Musicnet – Music Not was more like it.

Since you know everything, how about a prognosis on this one? Will it or won’t it work?

(Awkward silence!)

They have Yahoo and AOL amongst their partners?

Terry Semel is finally using his Hollywood connections …..Good!

Maybe if all their employees start clicking together, they will be able to increase traffic — because right now YouTube’s share of the online video market (by visits) is still more than the entire combined traffic of the grand alliance.

Sniff around HitWise like I did if you want to find that stuff out. AOL… we had some good times together. But the first rule of AOL Club is you don’t talk about AOL Club. So.

It is a bit of a role reversal. I don’t feel pessimistic, why are you so downbeat? After all they are saying all the right things and seem to be earnest…

You clearly are dimwitted. Let me take it step by step. As long as the big money is going to come from the traditional broadcast part of their business, those divisions will control how the digital strategies unfold. Hence the broadcast bosses will put time limits on viewing, or work on ways to get people to pay for their content, or cram it with advertising, which is eventually going to turn off the users.

But there is so much money at stake here? ?

Like the kind of money my employers were going to make! Has anyone even thought about the fact that all the money Google munchkins are making is through Google text ads, not video ads?

So you are saying, this is a newspaper-like problem?

Finally you are seeing the light. The big networks, thanks to online video, will become more accountable to the advertisers, and that means the advertisers will finally figure out that the broadcast television is just one giant hallucination, and shift more of their dollars to “performance” oriented media – online video, for example. Genie’s out of the bottle…..Ouch!

Sorry Mr. Puppet, I disagree with you – I think this is going to work. The good news is that with 500 channels and more, you may have another chance at a starring role.

Tina Brown had a show, right? And you are asking an icon of dot-com excesses to make sense of it all! Anything is possible.