Choose Your Own Conspiracy: Undersea Cable Edition

After three undersea cables in the Middle East were taken out last week, those who fear black helicopters started to worry. But now, with the number of broken undersea telecommunications cables in the Middle East rising to five, even sane people (and pundits) are donning their tinfoil hats to discuss what might be behind it.

The Mossad Theory: This one blames the Israeli secret service for the cuts. Problem: What the heck do they have against India?

The Muslim Terrorist Theory: Do I really need to explain this one? Problem: Terrorists like to surf the Net too.

The Bubba Theory: Fisherman are told where the cables are, but don’t care. Problem: These guys do have maps and in some cases, boats weren’t in areas where the cuts occurred.

The Pentagon Theory: The U.S. is cutting the cables to deprive Iran and Syria from the Internet. In some variations of this theory, we’re working with Israel. Problem: We’re depriving India and Kuwait, too.

The James Bond Theory: The odds of a cable getting damaged are low. Multiply that by five and the odds get even lower. Problem: The cables are vulnerable. Geography forces many of the cables to run close together, and there are about 50 repairs to these things done each year all over the world.

Personally, my bets are on an angry Kraken.