‘Twas The Night Before Macworld

‘Twas the night before Macworld, when all through the blogs
Every pundit was asking “Where is Steve Jobs?”
His stockings were hung at Mascone with care,
But it seems his last keynote was for MacBook Air.

The attendees were not yet settled into bed;
All concerned that we only get Schiller instead.
Will there be dazzling products? What can we expect?
And will somebody get Phil a black turtleneck?

Then inside the hall there arose such a clatter
I pushed through the line to see what was the matter.
I flew like a flash on my way to the stage
As the keynote began, and the crowd was engaged.

He’s pleasant enough, this marketing guy,
And as he takes the stage we could all hear him cry
“On Macbooks, on iMacs, on iPods, on Pros,
On Minis and iPhones, who wouldn’t want those?”

Like bad rumors always before Macworld will fly
(Though we quickly forget once the keynote’s gone by),
So on the enormous screen hung from above
We watched flashing slides of the products we love.

His attire was lively, with a small dash of red,
And the clothes that he wore matched the cap on his head.
He had an extremely small bag on his back,
Had he forgotten something, what did he lack?

He had a pipe with him, but it wasn’t lit,
“Gave up smoking,” he said, “didn’t like it one bit.”
He had a round face that was pleasant and cheerful,
And a big booming voice; when he spoke ‘twas an earful!

He may be no Steve, but you couldn’t get mad,
And we might have been merry if we weren’t so sad.
But he just winked at us, and reached into the bag;
He knew what was coming but didn’t want to brag.

So instead he said nothing, and just showed to us all
The white Apple logo, glowing and small.
For a moment this small thing our eyes fixed upon,
Then I turned round to thank him, but he was gone.

Still the message was clear, we all knew what he meant;
Apple’s not gone, there’s no cause for lament.
It’s just Apple’s last expo, not the end of the world.
Our tantrums had made us sound like Rob Enderle.

PC supporters whine more every day:
Apple’s small market share, follow Microsoft’s way;
MobileMe is no match for MS Windows Live;
And our hardware has VGA ports from ’95;

A six hundred dollar PC is desirous,
(Though it can’t run much more than your anti-virus);
And Vista’s improving, of that have no fear,
Versions 2.Little and 2.Late are both due next year.

And it then struck us all that the sadness we’d had
Was quite trivial compared to Microsoft’s bad.
Though it’s Apple’s last keynote inside of this hall,
They’re still around making great products for all.

So we all headed home with more joy than before;
Knowing Apple’s designing cool products galore.
And I had to exclaim, since our fears were misplaced,
Happy Macworld to all…  Now where’s copy and paste?

(Apologies to Clement Clark Moore.)